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Bmorr485
Just Said Yes August 2024

Fiancés groomsmen

Bmorr485, today at 11:17 AM Posted in Planning 0 8
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Is it wrong that I flat out told my fiancé I do not want 2 of his buddies as groomsmen for our wedding? I told him I do not trust them because of things that happened at his buddies bachelor party that he attended?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Mary, today at 8:37 PM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    Yes I think it is wrong of you. You shouldn't be controlling who he is allowed to have on his side of the wedding party.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
    • Flag
    Unless the groomsmen did something totally inappropriate (assault/abuse, stealing from you, etc), or if they are not supportive of your relationship, I don't think it's fair to try to decide who your fiance can have in his side of wedding party. Similarly, your fiance shouldn't get to decide who you have in your side of the wedding party.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    This may sound harsh, but it doesn't really matter if you trust them. Unless they've done something egregious to you like the things Lisa mentioned, this decision should 100% be up to your FH.
    • Reply
  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2022
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    I have to agree with all the previous posters, it is out of line for you to dictate who your groom has stand with him.
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with this. And if the issues you have with them are truly terrible, then you need to address that with your future spouse in the context of how his friendships are impacting your lives, not your wedding. That is, having them as groomsmen for your wedding is such a small part of the big picture of your lives.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Unless they are violent/racist/criminal/abusive, you don’t get to say anything about it. The same way that he cannot say you are not able to pick who you want.
    • Reply
  • L
    Lady ·
    • Flag

    Yeah, that's not your place. You don't have to like them, but they're not your wedding party. Your FI gets to pick who he wants.

    • Reply
  • M
    Savvy June 2023
    Mary ·
    • Flag
    I think it depends on the nature of your relationship. If you and fiancé communicate about each other’s friendships / associates and who you trust around each other, it’s probably fair game. If you don’t already have those convos then maybe it’s inappropriate. The question I have is why you’re worried about those groomsmen- if you think they’ll “cause” your fiancé to do something inappropriate at bachelor party, that sounds like a deeper trust issue between you and FH & maybe that’s the real convo to have with him. Also keep in mind even if they aren’t groomsmen, they could still be at the bachelor party anyway. You could propose a negotiation that instead of those 2, how would he feel about 2 other guys you feel better about- or offer to let him have his strikes of two of your bridesmaids in exchange. Ultimately I don’t think you can force him not to have them as groomsmen… just express your concerns and listen to him, and then let it go if he says no.
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